


you must be this tall to ride

by jolybird



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amusement Parks, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:01:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26884789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jolybird/pseuds/jolybird
Summary: A day at the amusement park had all sorts of challenges including but not limited to, keeping track of Gavroche, making sure Azelma and her boyfriend (whose name Grantaire hadn't yet bothered to learn) didn't sneak off to kiss behind the petting zoo barn, keeping Bossuet away from anything that might aggravate his possible concussion and trying not to bring attention to the fact he was probably too short for some of the attractions. The first three things proved to be fairly easy but the fourth he failed pretty instantaneously--it was all Courfeyrac and Jehan's fault though.
Relationships: Enjolras/Grantaire (Les Misérables)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	you must be this tall to ride

**Author's Note:**

> It's day seven of [The Miserables Month](https://themiserablesmonth.tumblr.com) already!! The prompt for today is Crew and since I have a pirate au coming up later in the month, this one is silly modern au. 
> 
> Inspired by an ugly mouse stuffed animal I won on the boardwalk and the fact that 5”2 is TOO SHORT for SOME people.

“Come on—please? Race with us!” Courfeyrac begged, tugging at Grantaire’s arm. Grantaire glanced at the information sign at the beginning of the queue for the go-karts and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I think I’m just going to keep Bossuet and Enjolras company.”

“Please?” Jehan begged, grabbing onto his other arm, and smiling what he must have thought was a charming smile but Grantaire thought he rather looked more like a snake. 

“Guys stop dicking around, you’re holding up the line!” Bahorel shouted and what choice did Grantaire have but to allow Jehan and Courfeyrac to drag him through, under, and over the metal barriers to their friends.

The poor lycée kid left in charge of the ride looked to Grantaire and he knew he was reaching for the metal measuring stick before the word _wait_ left his mouth.

“Come on, man.” Bahorel complained loudly from his kart. He was strapped in with his foot already on the gas pedal.

“It’s like half an inch difference.” Courfeyrac protested as he put the measuring stick down and Grantaire came up short. 

“Let him ride!” the guy behind him in line said, prompting his friends to start a chant, which Grantaire’s friends picked up all too enthusiastically.

Grantaire threw his hands up, completely mortified and not at all surprised, “Alright, whatever. Fuck this anyway.” The guys behind him booed loudly as he slipped past them and left the queue.

“Changed your mind?” Enjolras asked civilly as Bossuet continued to laugh like the phenomenal best friend he was. They all knew this was going to happen but he went along with Courfeyrac and Jehan’s boundless optimism anyway. 

“Oh fuck off.” Grantaire growled. Courfeyrac and Jehan were complaining loudly about Grantaire’s exclusion and Courfeyrac was ominously referencing something he had in a bag in the car. Grantaire wasn’t wearing heels of any kind for any stupid go-kart. He’d much rather stay with his possibly concussed best friend and Enjolras who was still sporting a cast from when he completely shattered his wrist falling down two(!) flights of stairs (the two incidents were unrelated unless you were talking to Bossuet who swore his bad luck was becoming contagious). 

“Do you want to go play the arcade games? Maybe you could win something?” Bossuet offered once he stopped laughing halfway through the first lap. He was covered in his friends belongings, as he had been all day. They had been instructed to pack light but only half of them really heeded that warning. It was fine through, Bossuet and Enjolras couldn't go on most of the attractions anyway and the ones that they could, they could bring their things along with them. 

“Yeah. Let’s go.” Enjolras decided for them and he went off towards the crane games. Bossuet glanced between the track and them before he followed after them, linking his arms with Grantaire. They could see the track from Enjolras’ choice of crane machine. Cosette was in the lead by several car lengths. Really, there had never been any contest.

“Let’s try for this one.” Enjolras said, pointing at possibly the ugliest pirate creature to ever crawl ashore in the last 400 millennia. It was supposed to be a mouse possibly but the face was turned away from them and partially buried by an errant reindeer. It’s floppy hat looked like it would be easy to loop the claw under. 

“Aye, aye, captain.” Bossuet put a few coins into the machine and both of them stepped back so Grantaire could work his magic. He stretched his fingers, shook out his hands, and eyed the trajectory he needed to win this rat. Seeing as he was shit at math, this victory was mostly going to rely on luck. 

Seeing as Bossuet and Enjolras were currently beacons for bad luck, this might not go so well. 

He eyed the claw and then the rat, trying to line it up. Enjolras crowded behind him and if he missed this thing, he was going to blame it on him for distracting him. 

Okay. The claw appeared to be directly on top of it. He hit the drop button. 

In silence they watch the claw drop down, land in front of the rat and then pull itself back up. It moved slowly sans prize and both Enjolras and Bossuet sighed.

The claw mocked all three of them as it opened above the prize shoot and Grantaire slammed the toggle over as soon as it reset. Bossuet went to stand at the side of the machine to help direct him but Enjolras stayed where he was, he grabbed Grantaire’s flannel with his injured hand. It was mostly a brush of fingertips and, really? It was like he wanted him to fail. 

Bossuet waved him backwards and he carefully tapped the claw in place. They were being so precise with it that the timer ran out and the claw dropped, swinging alarmingly as it did so. 

“Rookie mistake.” Enjolras muttered like he did this sort of thing all the time. 

The claw caught hold of the hat and began to lift the stuffed animal. Slowly it rose into the sky and Grantaire held his breath. It knocked into the reindeer and dropped back into the pile, rolling pitifully on its side. The angle was not flattering and one of its eyes appeared wonky. Huh. 

“Okay.” Bossuet said, getting into the position of the hype man. “One more try—we’ve got this. And we’re adults, we have enough money for a second go at it.” 

Grantaire moved the claw back into position above the rat and tapped it forwards as Bossuet instructed. 

“A little to the right.” Enjolras’ voice has the soft tone it always had when he was concentrating. Grantaire obliged and then dropped the claw. 

It lowered directly over the rat’s head and clamped around it’s face. 

“Yes!” Enjolras whispered and Grantaire grinned. 

The claw game, however, was rigged against them and the claw scraped across the rat’s face like the most crass of lovers. Enjolras and Bossuet both swore. 

The claw caught around the wonky eye and the rat was lifted up. Its eye was held on by several threads and those threads were being pulled apart from the weight. This might be the most dramatic claw game this park had ever seen. 

Enjolras gripped Grantaire’s shirt, leaning into him. Bossuet reached out and wrapped his hands around Grantaire’s forearm. 

It was anyone's guess if the threads would hold until it made it to the shoot. 

Grantaire was so distracted by the way Enjolras’ breath hitched and gasped _fuck_ that he didn’t even see that the mouse was slipping until the eye went snapping off with a frightening intensity and hit the glass with a dull thunk.

With nothing holding it up, the rat fell into a one second free fall. 

It caught on the edge of the shoot and balanced on the plastic divider. Enjolras kicked the machine sharply on the side and the rat fell into the basket with an ominously loud thump. 

“If this is filled with drugs we don’t tell the others and split it three ways.” Bossuet said immediately. 

Grantaire glanced at Enjolras who looked at him with his lips pressed together, pleasantly surprised. Grantaire felt those sentiments exactly. He pulled the rat out and presented it to Enjolras with a flourish. “Your first mate, captain.”

Enjolras accepted it with a quiet laugh, “don’t sell yourself short, Grantaire. This is very clearly the cabin boy.” 

There was a commotion over from the track and they looked over to see Feuilly, Bahorel and Joly doing what was apparently a bonus lap _for Grantaire_ that had all three of them laughing and Courfeyrac swearing indignantly from where he was sandwiched between Combeferre and Éponine in the pits. 

“That was a long race, wasn’t it?”

“I think the theatrics of the crane game just made it seem like it lasted forever.” 

They went over to rejoin their friends, Bossuet leading the way. “Yo, you missed it. R won Enjolras this stuffed— _thing_.” Bossuet said, handing everyone their belongings and shedding his appearance of a human possibly-concussed coat rack. 

“Where’s the other eye?” Feuilly asked, raising an eyebrow. He was the reason they were all here today--he had let it slip he had never been to an amusement park before and, well, that was a problem they could fix. Especially for his birthday. 

Enjolras shut his eyes in mock solemnity, “It didn’t make it.”

“Oh—here!” Joly cried, reaching into Musichetta’s purse and pulled out an eyepatch. Musichetta looked like she didn’t know she had been carrying it around. Cosette went over and helped safety pin the patch in place. Enjolras turned to Grantaire, “I saw some kids running around with pirate hats near the food counter.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Grantaire asked but Enjolras only stood there seriously, he repositioned his arm ever so slightly so that the cast was pronounced. 

“Please?” Enjolras smiled in a way he obviously thought was charming. Grantaire thought he was completely fucked. Cosette gave the rat back to him, tucking it carefully in the sling. 

“Okay fine.” Grantaire sighed and led the way so he didn’t have to see the pleased look on Enjolras’ face. 

“Where are you going?” Courfeyrac asked sharply. 

“Grantaire is first mate, he knows what he’s doing.” Bossuet explained calmly and Grantaire walked faster. 

“If Grantaire is first mate, what does that make Enjolras.” 

“Captain.” 

Approximately four people protested at once and Enjolras actually laughed as they hurried off to the food court. It was mostly empty seeing as it was half past ten in the off season and the girl behind the counter eyed them warily as they approached. 

“We’d like a cotton candy and a pirate hat please.” Grantaire said, gesturing to the wall of hats behind her. She looked at them and then sighed and rang them up for the cotton candy. 

“Here you go, Captain,” she said handing them both over to Enjolras, who blushed and could only mutter a thank you. 

Grantaire grinned and puffed out his chest in mock outrage, “what makes you think he’s captain of this crew?” 

The girl looked to Grantaire and twisted a strand of hair around her finger as she put up an air of indifference, “a captain never orders his own cotton candy. Plus he looks better in the hat.” She gestured to Enjolras who was owning this and had put on the hat and began to nibble on the cotton candy. “You’re part of that big group aren’t you? For the little one’s birthday? I think I have a cake back here with his name on it? Feuilly?”

“Oh no, the little one is Gavroche. Feuilly is the birthday boy. He’s the cute one with the red hair and freckles.”

“Not Jehan though.” Enjolras added as he popped another bite of cotton candy into his mouth. 

“Oh I know Jehan.” The girl grinned, “he and Joly were the ones who delivered the cake last night. It’s cute that they drove all the way here so Feuilly wouldn’t know about it.” 

Grantaire glanced to Enjolras, he hadn’t known they did that actually, but it did make sense for how nonplussed they were about sneaking the cake into the park this morning--it had already been tucked away in a fridge. 

“I think we’ll be in for lunch at noon.” Enjolras told her and she nodded. 

“We probably won’t get busy today so whenever you guys want to come in is fine.” She turned back around and Grantaire thought it was the end of the conversation but instead she was just grabbing a stack of paper pirate hats. “How many?”

Grantaire froze in face of his second mathematical challenge of the day and Enjolras beat him to it, “fifteen.” The girl nodded and handed Grantaire a ridiculous amount of hats. 

“Some of the arcade games have swords.” She offered and Grantaire grinned his thanks. 

They headed off in the direction of the arcade games because Grantaire was committed to a life of piracy now and couldn’t help himself as he glanced at Enjolras, “you look super sexy in that hat by the way.” 

Enjolras rolled his eyes but smiled and that had to mean something, right? “I’m sure not as sexy as you if you put yours on.” He waved his cotton candy to make Grantaire stop. He did and Enjolras plucked the top hat off the pile and carefully held the cotton candy in his injured hand. He put the hat on Grantaire’s head at an angle. He smiled, “there. You just about look like the real thing.” 

Grantaire frowned, not knowing if that was meant to be insulting or not and pointedly looked to Enjolras’ cotton candy. 

Enjolras rolled his eyes, ripped a piece off and fed it to him as they started walking again, “I meant it in a good way.” 

“Oh excellent, thank you.” Grantaire said after the candy melted in his mouth. What the fuck did looking like a sexy pirate in a good way mean. 

As they neared the arcade games it became clear that they weren’t the only ones who had learned about the presence of the swords. Combeferre, Azelma, her boyfriend, Feuilly and Bahorel were all trying to catapult frogs onto moving lily pads with a frightening intensity. The boy behind the counter was clearly loving it and caught one of Feuilly’s frogs as it bounced off a lily pad towards the water and put it back into his bucket. 

“Do not distract me.” Feuilly growled as they neared him. 

“You need a hat.” Grantaire informed him solemnly and held out the hats to Bossuet who came over to help. Bossuet took one and put it atop Feuilly’s head. Immediately one of his frogs landed on a lily pad. Feuilly spun around, grinning. 

“I need one!” Bahorel called out after one of his frogs did an impressive bellyflop into the water. Bossuet and Grantaire handed out the hats and then went to find the remainder of their friends. 

After everyone was suitably decked out in their pirate hats, Grantaire wandered back over to Enjolras’ side. He had a foam sword strapped around his waist and a balloon shaped like a pirate ship was tied around the arm of the mouse he still had tucked under his cast. 

Grantaire raised his eyebrows, impressed with how quickly they had assembled the look. 

“Do you think my crew is not resourceful?” Enjolras asked, frowning. Before Grantaire could answer, Enjolras looked away and grinned, “I’ve elected Feuilly as Co-Captain by the way.” 

“Um, excuse me, I didn’t vote for him.” 

“I cast your vote for you, don’t worry.” 

“That’s not how it works.” 

Enjolras shrugged, “like you wouldn’t have voted for him.” 

“You know, I might _not_ have.” 

Feuilly bounded over to them, sporting a anteater stuffed animal that was easily half the size of him. He looked a little embarrassed by it but mostly thrilled, “We’re going on the bumper boats, I think if you ride with Grantaire you’ll be able to go on.” 

Enjolras looked to Grantaire and then shrugged, “okay. Lead the way, co-captain.” 

“Of course--it’s right over here, co-captain.” Feuilly grinned. 

“I think the first mate would like to carry your--”

“Wench. This is my wench.” Feuilly said and wasted no time in handing it off to Grantaire. “Gavroche decided this.”

"I hate that." Grantaire and Enjolras said at exactly the same time, in exactly the same tone. The surprise of it caused both them and Feuilly to laugh until Gavroche came to collect them. His attempt was thwarted though, when he took the anteater and they collectively realized it was bigger than him.

"Where did they even find that?" Feuilly asked. 

"I'll drown her in the lake!" Gavroche announced and then he took off running well as he could with the anteater. Feuilly shouted his protest and chased after him, Gavroche was actually going pretty fast and Feuilly had to legitimately run to keep up with him. 

Enjolras shook his head and handed Grantaire the last of the cotton candy. Grantaire accepted it--he had bought it after all--and took a bite. Enjolras shook his head again and then took Grantaire's hand, "Come on, can't keep our crew waiting."

Grantaire just squeezed his hand and followed him. 


End file.
